Hayden Panettiere Opened Up About Her Brother Jansen Years After His Sudden Loss — and the Guilt She Carried

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For Hayden, finding a path forward involved support, therapy, exercise, trusted relationships, and giving herself room to process what had happened.

A

ABC News

Remembering Jansen as a Person, Not a Tragedy

One of the most meaningful parts of Hayden's reflections is that Jansen's life was not reduced to the circumstances surrounding his death.

She remembered his personality.

His presence.

Their bond.

The role he played in her life.

She has spoken about feeling his presence and about how alive he remains in her memories.

That is an important part of grieving.

A person is more than the worst thing that happened to them.

Jansen was a brother, an artist, an actor, and someone who shared a childhood and an extraordinary bond with Hayden.

When someone dies suddenly, the circumstances can dominate public discussion.

But for families, the memories often become the more important story.

The Pain of Feeling Responsible

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In 1979, a grieving widower walked into an orphanage just to use the phone. Minutes later, he made a decision that left an entire town calling him insane. Richard Miller had already lost everything. His wife, Anne, had passed away after a long illness, leaving behind a silent home filled with memories and heartbreak. Friends begged him to move on, remarry, start over… But Richard couldn’t. Every night, he sat alone at the kitchen table staring at the empty walls, replaying the final words Anne whispered before she died: “Don’t let love die with me. Give it somewhere to go.” Then came the stormy night that changed his life forever. His truck broke down near St. Mary’s Orphanage, so he stepped inside to call for help. But before he could reach the phone, he heard something else. Crying. Not one baby. Many. He followed the sound down a dim hallway and stopped cold outside a tiny nursery. Nine baby girls. Abandoned together. Nine tiny cribs lined up side by side. Nine pairs of frightened brown eyes staring back at him. The nurse quietly explained they had been found wrapped in the same blanket on the church steps just days earlier. No names. No note. No family coming back. Then she said the words that shattered him: “They’ll be separated soon.” Separated. Richard stood frozen as the babies cried into the silence. One reached for his sleeve. Another looked directly into his eyes. A third smiled at him through tears. And in that moment, something inside the broken widower finally cracked open. When Richard quietly asked what would happen if someone adopted all nine girls together, the nurse actually laughed. “All nine? Sir, nobody would do that.” But she had no idea who she was talking to. Because moments later, the lonely man who had lost his entire world whispered five words that stunned everyone in the room: “I’ll take them all.” People mocked him. Called him reckless. Neighbors whispered behind closed curtains. “What’s a white man doing raising nine Black babies?” Some people said far worse. But Richard never wavered. He sold his truck. Anne’s jewelry. Even his own tools. He worked double shifts at the factory. Patched roofs on weekends. Took late-night shifts at a diner whenever he could. Every dollar went toward formula, diapers, clothes, and supplies. He built their cribs by hand. Boiled bottles on the stove. Hung endless laundry across the yard like battle flags. At night, he lay awake listening to nine tiny breaths in the darkness, terrified he might lose even one of them. He learned which lullaby soothed which baby. He taught himself how to braid hair with clumsy fingers. He memorized the meaning behind every cry. The outside world judged him harshly. Mothers at school whispered suspicions. Strangers at grocery stores stared too long. One day, a man spat near his feet and sneered: “You’ll regret this.” But regret never came. Instead came the first time all nine girls laughed at once — filling the house with music. Stormy nights when the electricity failed and he held them close until they fell asleep in his arms. Birthdays with crooked homemade cakes. Christmas mornings with gifts wrapped in old newspaper. To outsiders, they became known as “The Miller Nine.” To Richard, they were simply his daughters. And what those nine little girls became 46 years later is something nobody in 1979 could have imagined. Read more link in the first comment Like & share and comment "YES" if you want more!