That left Hayden questioning herself.
Was she helping?
Was she making things worse?
Was there another approach she should have taken?
Those are the kinds of questions that can haunt someone after a loved one's death.
But hindsight is cruel.
After someone dies, the mind can replay old conversations and decisions while imagining alternative outcomes.
What if I had called sooner?
What if I had stayed longer?
What if I had said something different?
What if I had recognized the warning signs?
For someone grieving, these questions can feel like attempts to regain control over an event that was ultimately beyond their control.
Grief Doesn't Follow a Calendar
Society often talks about "moving on" after a death.
But Hayden's experience demonstrates why that phrase can be misleading.
She did not simply stop grieving after a year.
Or two years.
Or three.
Instead, the grief changed.
In 2026, she said that she missed Jansen all the time and described grief as something that evolves, particularly when the person who died was a sibling. She also spoke about feeling guilty that she had not been able to do her job as an older sister — to protect him.
